Time Out

Because of our planned departure to Florida in a few days, there will be no posts for this blog for some time.

Rambler 486

“Loose lips”-require liposuction

Army Karate Expert suffers a concussion from saluting.

“Taking the path less traveled” –gets one lost

“When opportunity knocks”-why wasn’t the doorbell used?

“If the shoe fits”-you only have half a pair

“A bird in the hand”-leaves a mess

The woman cooking the turkey never made it to 3^rd baste.

She was the din mother for the cub scout band.

News Headlines (possibly):

CEO of doughnut company making the rounds

The presentation on cremation was a gas

KRUD8

Rambler 485

A man invested in coin washes and was arrested for laundry moneying.

Why is it that hyphenated names usually involve two long last names?

Old radio programs used to require you to use your imagination.  Today’s TV programs leave nothing to imagine.

If “only the good die young” am I in trouble now that I am 70?

I am trying to give up Halloween.  I’m wearing a pumpkin patch.

Does hiking on trails make me a pathologist?

There once was a lawyer with wit

Whose letters always began to whit

A problem did ensue

When himself he did sue

In court, on which side does he sit?

News Headlines (possibly):

New dolphin species spotted (It would be nice to have a striped species.)

Rambler 484

When asked how long our children and grandchildren would be faced with the deficit, quote the maven: “evermore.”

"Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

If the NSA records the phone calls of foreign prime ministers, are they considered “collect calls?”

Now that I am 70, I can hang out my shingles.

I was switched at birth but had follow up spankings.

When my wife vacuums the room with me in it, it looks like an octopus wrestling match between my oxygen hose and the cord to the vacuum cleaner.

News Headlines (possibly):

Javelin company spearheading new design

Arrow redesign-what’s the point?

Rambler 483

The SWAT teams were different in the 50’s.   If you misbehaved you were swatted.

Is a hemorrhoid hardening of the fartery?

The next best thing to popping bubble wrap is snapping the weekly pill boxes shut.

Based upon the number of bags my wife brings home from shopping, she must have aced shop in H.S.

We’re sending drones into other countries without consent.  The day will soon come where other countries send drones into the U.S.

Why do they call them “men’s dress shoes” when men wear pants?

With the increased use of: insecticides, ingestible plastics (BPA’s) in water bottles and canned goods, and medications of all types why are we surprised by the increases in abnormalities in children?

News headlines (possibly):

Audience all ears about cochlear implants

Article on flint sparks interest

Halloween spooksman masked his emotions

KRUD7

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