Rambler 267

A man was caught stealing gas from cars parked in a commuter lot. Psychologists think he is suffering from car pool funnel syndrome.


Lapidairy-milk spilled in one’s lap


I finally understand the purpose of occupational therapy after a hospital stay-it is to get you in shape to handle all of the new pills and medications.


When I was at the rehab center I asked if they had a drive through window in the dining room for wheelchairs.


I’ve given up playing hide and seek with my grandchildren. They find me too easily following the oxygen hose.


After listening to the overture, I still wondered who did William Tell?


New research indicates Goldilocks had a drinking problem and the story should have been Goldilocks and the Three Bars.


Is a sleeping bag a napsack?


I asked a cheese maker to show me the whey.


During my hospital stay, the cardiologist said the effects of one medication were disheartening.


There was a man with a large gnu
Which he loaded in his canoe
As he laid on the shore
He began to snore
And the gnu from the canoe bid him adieu


News Item Headings: (possibly)


Sales of mattresses softening.


Local sheet maker folded.