Rambler 85

I attended a Don Rickles seminar to help me make split second derisions.

Acme Manufacturing will hold its picnic at High Point, NC, this August. Wylie Coyote will be the guest speaker.

A new documentary on cycling through the south is opening: "Gone with the Schwinn."

Genes-the splice of life!

It is interesting that elected officials continue to berate companies that are "too large to fail" while allowing further consolidation.

There once was a writer of prose
Who typed only with his toes
One day it rained
Both ankles were sprained
And he now writes with his nose

Because of media bias, nightly news is being renamed nightly views. News that is not left will be left out. (Did I say that right?)

Why are fight periods called rounds when they occur in a square setting?

Pedometer readings will now need to be reported to the state tax office monthly for mileage tax.

Almost as ludicrous as government spending is the spending in major cities for stadiums. The taxpayers get to foot the bill while the team owners reap the benefits. And after about 20 years, the stadium needs to be replaced.

Fiddler on the Roof has been shut down. OSHA says he was in violation of a number of safety codes. (This was on the eave of their local opening)

Department of Government Publications has published a new book to assist new Congressmen: "The Pork You Pine (for)." Say it fast.

Mudslingers in Washington are still going full silt.

A local football coach, to get the proper English on their kicks, is teaching his kickers puntuation points.

How do seeds know which way is up when they start their growth?

Because of the decline in sales at newspaper stands, the New York Times said it was down to the last stand manning.

John R. Smith, the late president of the Procrastinators' Club, will be buried tomorrow (or the next day).