Rambler 76

The local Domino's Pizzeria had a wall collapse. It was in the area where they stacked pizzas for the delivery drivers. Investigators determined the failure was caused by the leaning power of pizzas.

The history channel has launched a new program specializing in the search for cheeses: Munster Quest.

Now that I have trifocals, will I be able to read 3 times as fast? (When I play golf, I don't know which of the 3 balls to hit.)

Rumors travel at the speed of spite.

I've told you a billion times not to exaggerate.

The National Association of Toilet Makers is meeting in Flushing, MI.

I will certainly feel better if we nationalize some banks with Dodd and Frank in charge. They had a lot to do with the situation we are in. Just think what they could do running a bank. Oops. I think we already have seen it. (One of them has a sweetheart home deal-fruit of the loan)

The ad agency that developed the California Cows ads has made the latest: "Whose Moo."

Science is into nano technology. Congress is into ninny-spendology.

The major producer of lenses said: "When it comes to lens design, we have barely scratched the surface." He said they plan to start a focus group for new concepts.

I bought a one-person sauna because it is supposed to improve my self esteam.

I was observing a new Wall Street Dance, the limbo. The dance goal is the same as the 60's-how low can you go?

The term: "bring home the bacon" was coined in the first congressional session.

The only thing more expensive per pound than fish caught on a fishing vacation is weight loss. (Correction-government stimulus bills of 1100 pages at about $200 billion per pound)

The baseball commissioner announced a new movie on the use of steroids by players: "A Shot in the Dark." It is said the producer's payments are in arrears.

When working on the Rambler, I try to write a gigglebyte in a ninnysecond.

While in NYC I tried to calculate the square root of Times Square.

Is the person who runs the cyclotron and (through the looking gas) observes the results of collisions which destroys the neutrons considered "The Had Matter?"