The CDC, in its efforts to combat obesity, has issued a new book that rates the calories of fast food restaurants: Lard of the Fries. (It is hoped this becomes thought for food)
A musical historian announced that she will soon unravel the success of “Bolero.”
Because of breathing problems, I carry a small oximeter to measure oxygen content in my blood as well as my pulse rate. Should our elected officials carry oxymoronimeters?
Based on an item by “60 Minutes,” the cause of the current financial problems is an instrument dreamed up by a number of firms’: “credit default swaps.” This was a quasi insurance against losses of the bundled mortgages. Since it was called a swap rather than insurance, it was unregulated. No money was set aside by the companies selling the swaps to cover the losses. When losses occurred, liquidity at the banks and investments houses offering them evaporated. Since they were called swaps to bypass regulations, it would certainly indicate criminal intent. (Meanwhile, the pro athletes who used steroids will probably be convicted.)
Middle aged women have problems dropping food on their fronts while eating. They are asking for a bib overhaul.
The ESP Society denied my application for membership. They said I was telepathetic. I couldn’t see it coming.
During my two day trip to San Antonio, Texas, I spent a fortnight in the Alamo.
Research by consultants has confirmed that the failures of many studies and the implementations of their recommendations are caused by a little known variation of a well-known problem: sons of glitches.
Queen Guinevere had trouble sleeping every Monday night because of noise. She asked Merlin for his help in determining the cause. After some research Merlin said, “Your problem is mundane-knight footfall.”
Synonym: Cyclotron-$8 billion kaleidoscope
If I were to discuss Check Point Charley with today’s youth, they would think it was either: an ATM or a credit card with bonus points.
New York recently erected a sports stadium that is the second case I am aware of where the fans paid most of the cost of the stadium-buying seat rights condominium style. Charlotte was the other site. Usually it is the billionaire owner asking the local taxpayers to foot the bill. (Isn’t that a smaller version of what we’re going through now with Wall Street?)
Because of the downturn in the sausage market caused by a shortage of the intestines used for wrapping, German producers presented their wurst casing scenario.
Thief River Falls, MN, announced that it is the site of the 2009 Heistman Trophy Award Presentation. (Guests are asked to leave their valuables at home-the same warning applies for visits to either House in D.C.)
Copyright October 2008 Steve Ganshert
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